clipping time's wings

Year of Song #6:  “One of the Boys”

Disclaimer:  This song is part of a songwriting project called Year of Song, in which I release one new song for free each week.  To get first dibs on the songs as they come out, sign up for my mailing list at andrewplan.com and subscribe to the podcast at andrewplan.libsyn.com.  Thanks for listening!

A few months ago, I received a book called The Macho Paradox; it was a token of appreciation for participating in a fundraiser for an anti-abuse group on campus called MAAN (Men Against Abuse Now).  The author, Jackson Katz, comes from the viewpoint that violence against women is fundamentally a men’s problem, rooted in embraced norms of violence within male culture that drive the patterns of abuse we see in society today.  It’s a very thoughtful and empathetic critique on men’s accountability for violence; it’s also very good at making you angry about all the horrific abuses going on today.   

The title of the song, “One of the Boys,” came to me while reading the book, so I knew I wanted to capture that anger I felt towards violence against women.  But I found it extremely hard to write directly about abuse, especially physical abuse.  So I focused more on an equally unsettling part about abuse:  the abuser could be anyone, even someone that is otherwise loving and well-intentioned.  How do you reconcile that?  What’s it like to live in that conflict, to be in love with someone who hurts you? 

I hope you’ll never have to know.

-Andrew

hey, don’t you tell me not to go
i gave you all my love, i gave you my freedom
and for all the pain you’ve caused, i tried to forgive you
but all that i can do, is hate that i love you

tear me down, do you know, what you are?

say you don’t wanna, say you don’t wanna belong (don’t wanna belong)
say you don’t wanna, say you don’t wanna belong
or are you one of the boys?
so why?, why you gotta hurt me every single time?
you’re giving me hell with your halo

i can’t wait on you to win your war
every fall you take, you drag me with you

so raise your hand for one more fight, if you want me to play dead why don’t you go?

say you don’t wanna, say you don’t wanna belong (don’t wanna belong)
say you don’t wanna, say you don’t wanna belong
or are you one of the boys?
so why?, why you gotta hurt me every single time?
this isn’t love, we play with dynamite
you lift me up just so you can let me down
no i don’t want a hell with your halo